


you're my ocean, painted blue

by soobeomu (orphan_account)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Actor Choi Soobin, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Exes, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Why Did I Write This?, and fluff i think ??, exes who still love each other, film director yeonjun, im very sorry, there was an attempt to include a tiny bit of humor, they kinda flirted w each other tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/soobeomu
Summary: (he remembers the sea, their voices and the steady sound of waves echoing in his memory,soobin, you'll be there right?)or: a yeonbin fic where they're exes and they meet again five years later.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	you're my ocean, painted blue

**Author's Note:**

> hi !!!! this is actually an excerpt of a yeonbin fic i was working on but unfortunately i dont really have much time (and braincells and energy and motivation) to finish it,,, so,, this is all i can offer (for now???) 
> 
> i also posted it on twt btw lol

> _if my wishes came true,_
> 
> _it would have been you._

* * *

_soobin wants to forget love the first time it broke him._

" _i had a dream,"_ soobin glances at yeonjun, the faint glow of the moonlight beneath them reflects through his features — his pinkish, plump lips and blond hair almost covering his sharp eyes. he's beautiful. there's a sense of growing familiarity with the way yeonjun's gaze upon him radiated with fire and somehow, somewhere, it burned soobin inside. 

the two keep a distance between them, careful enough not to touch each other's skin. yeonjun shows interest on the topic soobin brought up as he hums, nodding slowly. the silence prolongs while they walk through the aisle leading to the lighthouse. the thick air between them eventually becomes suffocating, words dying to escape from him yet somehow, it burns at the back of his throat. "i had—" soobin breathed out at last, "i had a dream we finished making our documentary."

"do you still remember that?" his voice. it's quiet, sweet, delicate — it caresses yeonjun gently, but something in his voice makes his heart sting. _how can i forget them?_ yeonjun almost says. but he doesn't. instead, before he could even say his answer, they stopped walking and rest their elbows on the railings, watching the waves move gradually and the two ships meeting from opposite ends of the ocean.

yeonjun looks at soobin as he replies, "of course. of course i do," his eyes are fixated on soobin. he recalls soobin's features that he onced memorized himself. somehow, it feels foreign now. perhaps, it might be the years that had gone and passed. _five years._ five years since the night that burned their eight year relationship down into mere ashes in just four words — _let's end it here_. soobin feels yeonjun's stare lingering on him, while he diverts his attention on the ships from far distance, now passing by each other. 

"i mean, it's difficult to forget," yeonjun adds. _and it's not like i wanted to forget about it, either._ "what was it like?"

"what?" 

"in your dream," yeonjun says, "what was it like if we still end up together?" 

soobin inhales sharply, "in my dream—" he licks his lip, pausing for a while, "we were… happy. we were watching the documentary, reminiscing about everything we had. i saw you, on this same beach, telling me your hopes and dreams. it's like, a parallel universe, honestly… a universe where none of this is happening. _you_ —standing there, asking me what would have happened if none of us gave up."

"it would have been.. _fun_." yeonjun replies, an odd choice of words on that too, but it's all he can manage to say. "to live in that parallel universe."

silence lingers for a moment. soobin is unsure of what to answer. the waves flow endlessly like soobin's gush of thoughts running on his mind. the thoughts of _him_ , of yeonjun, that he has known to be long forgotten and buried in the past. and _yet._ it's here, vivid and very much alive, haunting and swallowing him inside. would it _really_ be fun? would it be really wonderful now to live in their what ifs, despite knowing somehow, someday, everything will come to an end? 

"well, that was five years ago," soobin gulps as he looks at him with a weak smile. "we are living different lives now. we're on the peak of our careers, i mean look at you now! you are the award winning film director. _wow._ " 

"but this isn't how i imagined it to be," yeonjun utters under his breath, _because i wanted you to be there._ soobin fails to catch what he said, because his phone rings the moment yeonjun spoke. he receives a message from the producer of his new movie, telling him to go back to the set. he sighs, slipping his phone back to his pocket as he tilts his head slightly on the side and asks, 

"you were saying?" 

"it's nothing," yeonjun replies with a half smile, hoping that's persuasive enough. a part of him regrets saying it while the other half wishes soobin did hear him. 

soobin gives him a cryptic look, "that's not convincing enough," he says, crossing his arms, "it's just _me_ , hyung, don't be shy. tell me." 

"it's nothing, really." 

"i don't believe you." 

"soobin—"

"hyung, just tell me. otherwise i won't be able to sleep tonight."

yeonjun sighs, half exasperated with how irresistible soobin is. it didn't take long enough for him to make an excuse, because then he finds himself staring at soobin—his gaze lingering on his face for a moment, enough for the both of them to fall into an awkward silence. 

"i said you're beautiful." 

soobin blinks a couple of times, his brain refusing to register his words. it didn't occur to him at first, and yeonjun must have sensed it, because he repeats it. and he means it. he means every syllable. "you're beautiful, soobin." 

his heart is pounding. it's a familiar feeling. he knows this too well, he remembers it too well, because only one person can do this to him — to make his cheeks blush, make him feel loved and cared for, make him a flustered mess in a matter of seconds — and that is yeonjun. but this time, his heart beats along with uncertainty and fear. 

his cheeks are tainted in red. there is a strong urge to bury himself six feet under to avoid yeonjun and hide _this_ effect he had caused. "stop saying that." 

"what?"

_like we're still the lovers we used to be._

"yeonjun hyung, you know exactly what i'm saying." 

"that you're beautiful?" yeonjun says, naturally, like they're back in time their college years where hardships were much bearable knowing they _had_ each other. "you're beautiful. i'm serious, i'm not lying."

"you really haven't changed at all," soobin shakes his head, a soft chuckle escaped his lips. 

"but i mean it, though." he replies, "we broke up, but that doesn't mean you'll be ugly to me. good god, not ever. you're like, the _finest_ actor i know. no, scratch that—the finest man on earth." 

his form into a full smile, his dimples evident on his both cheeks. yeonjun loves that; to see soobin happy and smiling. "you're not too bad yourself, hyung. i like your hair. looks really good on you." 

"just my hair?" yeonjun pouts, "what else do you like about me?" 

"hyung, now is not the time for compliments." the younger laughs softly. it's been a while since yeonjun heard him laugh, and he misses it like a song you haven't heard in ages.

"i'm just kidding." yeonjun laughs, while the other rolls his eyes. somehow, he feels much lighter now, seeing soobin joke around him. 

this is far from what he expected because he expected the worst — mayhaps, something like in the movies, where they're drenched in rain, crying and arguing. but now that he's here with soobin standing in front of him, it's different. 

it's calm, like the waves. and yeonjun thinks it's because soobin is not someone he sees in the movies. choi soobin, even after all these years, perhaps changed a lot. but there is a known fact yeonjun knows that is constant, no matter how many seasons passed: choi soobin is still and always will be an embodiment of comfort and warmth. 

"is this what it feels like?" yeonjun breathes deeply, "to live in that parallel universe?"

"but we don't live in a parallel universe where everything could be different, hyung. there's nothing else we can do — we _chose_ to live in this reality for an apparent reason, hyung." 

yeonjun looks at him, his eyes hopeful.

"but what if there is?"

soobin narrows his eyebrows, confused. 

(he remembers the sea, their voices and the steady sound of waves echoing in his memory, 

_soobin, you'll be there right?)_

"what if…" 

_what if we can still try?_

his voice trails off, unsure of his own words. "what if we meet again?" 

and maybe that's why he wanted to forget love and the way it electrified him — how it eroded the edges of his soul, how it caressed him gently, embracing him with warmth in the morning while tangled in white sheets and whispering, — _soobin-ah, i love you._

maybe, that's why he wanted to forget love. perhaps, it would hurt him less. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading lol hehe pls scream @ me on twt @gyufairies


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